Podcast 3: Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) versus Sexboat

Science and democracy were at least satisfied when the Versus Sexboat crew finally managed to commit their considered review of Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) to tape this weekend. However, satisfaction from all other quarters is by no means guaranteed. Could it have been the perry? Or the fact that Dotmund had worn himself out yomping round a farm all morning, making fun of a big chicken? Either way, it's arguable that our normal levels of cutting insight may have been somewhat askew as we reach a particularly controversial conclusion.

It's perhaps the strongest argument yet for universal suffrage. The audio equivalent of throwing yourself in front of the King's horse. Get your ears on the outside of this and tell us what you think! Bonus points will be given for people able to do so without swearing or saying bad things about our mums.



Please also note that we have a new podcast vote in our sidebar. There are four films to choose from - our fifth choice had to be abandoned because some idiot made its rating go up to 7.1 on IMDb. Keep your eyes peeled for blog posts about each of our choices in the coming days.

This time, definitely

As our growing band of loyal Sexboateers will be only too aware, our grand plan to be democratic and let you choose our next film ran aground (boating metaphor) when we discovered at rather-too-crucial a stage (i.e. we'd just got back from the boozer ready to start watching the film and taking notes) that we did not in fact have a copy of Die Hard 2 (1990). Boy, were our faces red. Our noses were, certainly.

However, our spirits and livers hardened by potential failure, we still managed to get a good podcast out of it, as you will know. In fact, Podcast 2, The Good Life (1975) versus Sexboat (1980) has just won the prestigious Prix de Rome Podcast Gold avex Sexy Boatsex at this year's ceremony in Royal Wootton Bassett.

However, this weekend, democracy will once again prove to be a good thing, unlike YOU thought as Podcast 3 emerges from the waves (boating metaphor) and comes in your ears. How will we rate the gun-heavy exploits of John McClane as he systematically destroys Washington D.C.'s Dulles Airport on Christmas Eve, against the cock-heavy antics of those two blokes who stowaway on a boat and turn it into a sexboat by systematically destroying every available vagina? And will any of our decisions be swayed by the fact that Betsy's mum has a crush on Dennis Franz?

Keep your eyes peeled for the next film vote which will be announced on this very blog next week. Also, hopefully we will soon be ready to announce some exciting news about guest commentators on future Versus Sexboat podcasts, just as soon as we've managed to break some people out of the psychiatric hospital that watching Sexboat (1980) put them in.

Please note: There are still a few hours left to vote for the beverage that will fuel our Die Hard 2 podcast! You can make your choice in our sidebar to the right of the page. Go on! The worst that can happen is that we'll ignore it (we probably will).

Podcast 2: The Good Life (1975) Versus Sexboat

The second edition of the Versus Sexboat podcast is brought to you by abject failure. Having established a vote so that you, our loyal fans, could choose the next film we watched, we noticed at a rather too crucial stage that we did not in fact have a copy of Die Hard 2: Die Harder.

Ever resourceful, however, we moved to our backup plan: the only episode of the powerfully sexual 1970s British sitcom The Good Life to be rated 7.0 on IMDb.com. The Thing in the Cellar (1975) is the fifth episode of the first series, and revolves around Tom Good's construction of a poo-powered electricity generator in his cellar.

We hope you won't notice that it is not Die Hard 2: Die Harder, which features almost no electricity generated by faeces. We will do it next time though. We've even got a copy of the film now, which is a pretty good start I think you'll have to agree.

The Good Life (1975) Vs Sexboat (1980) by 5olly

Our next film - Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990)

Rejoicing is unconfined at Versus Sexboat this morning (well, 66.6% of it, 5olly voted for Puss In Boots) as the results of our poll to decide our next film are in and the winner is Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990). A late surge took it across the line with just hours to spare! The full results were as follows:

1st: Die Hard 2 - 6 votes (37%)
2nd: Crank - 5 votes (31%)
2nd: Puss In Boots - 5 votes (31%)
4th: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy - 0 votes (0%)

Total votes: 16
Abstentions: 6,999,999,984

W. B. Willis in action

So, our next podcast will pit the endless virtues of Sexboat (1980) against Renny Harlin's action-adventure Christmas fairytale Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990). Will the story of Bruce Willis pitting his wits and courage against a band of ex-military terrorists on Christmas Eve with a weather eye on saving his wife so that they can have a bunk up prevail? And how many times does Dennis Franz say "fuck"? All these questions and more will be, if not answered, then at least asked.

Hopefully the next Versus Sexboat podcast will be along in the next week or so, depending on how much we drink (we tried to record one for the Podcast Wank Bank on Saturday but 5olly fell asleep and I drew a tortoise instead of making notes).

A tortoise