Podcast 4: London to Brighton (1903-present) versus Sexboat

Hello. We at Versus Sexboat have done one of those accidental podcasts. Inspired entirely by the heady whiff of the boozer and the dazzlingly unfortunate coincidence that London to Brighton in 4 minutes was rated 7.0 on IMDb.com for about 20 seconds last night, we got the microphone out quick sharp and then when we'd found the cable, plugged it in and did a podcod. This is not to say that it is half-arsed. The Versus Sexboat crew is made up of a born-and-bred Brightonian, an almost entirely bred Brightonian and Betsy, who has lived in Brighton for 5 years and has ALSO LIVED IN LONDON. This leaves us ideally placed to pass judgement on sped-up films of train journeys from London Victoria Station to Brighton Station, which is in Brighton.



So, hardened by local pride, sugar and some alcohol, we watched a selection of these classic railway adventures before subjecting them to our now-legendary Five Characteristics of a Good Film test to determine if they could teach Sexboat a thing or two. In the end, they ended up teaching us all a thing or two ABOUT OURSELVES, about each other and quite a lot about Dotmund that no-one wanted to know.

The original notes for the apology, which Betsy refused to read for an almost infinite number
of very good reasons. Note also apology about Striding's car, later abandoned

The key source material here was the 1953 BBC television interlude film, which you can watch in all its glory here, but also a film of the same journey in 1903 and another more recent one. Our films therefore spanned over a hundred years of British history, two world wars and one world cup and all that. All that in just under 15 minutes! Compare that to Sexboat (1980), which only seems like it spans more than a hundred years. Which will prevail? Which one will win the coveted Sex category? And which way does your erection point? Find out now in the next 39 minutes of your actual life.

Podcast 3: Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) versus Sexboat

Science and democracy were at least satisfied when the Versus Sexboat crew finally managed to commit their considered review of Die Hard 2: Die Harder (1990) to tape this weekend. However, satisfaction from all other quarters is by no means guaranteed. Could it have been the perry? Or the fact that Dotmund had worn himself out yomping round a farm all morning, making fun of a big chicken? Either way, it's arguable that our normal levels of cutting insight may have been somewhat askew as we reach a particularly controversial conclusion.

It's perhaps the strongest argument yet for universal suffrage. The audio equivalent of throwing yourself in front of the King's horse. Get your ears on the outside of this and tell us what you think! Bonus points will be given for people able to do so without swearing or saying bad things about our mums.



Please also note that we have a new podcast vote in our sidebar. There are four films to choose from - our fifth choice had to be abandoned because some idiot made its rating go up to 7.1 on IMDb. Keep your eyes peeled for blog posts about each of our choices in the coming days.

Podcast 2: The Good Life (1975) Versus Sexboat

The second edition of the Versus Sexboat podcast is brought to you by abject failure. Having established a vote so that you, our loyal fans, could choose the next film we watched, we noticed at a rather too crucial stage that we did not in fact have a copy of Die Hard 2: Die Harder.

Ever resourceful, however, we moved to our backup plan: the only episode of the powerfully sexual 1970s British sitcom The Good Life to be rated 7.0 on IMDb.com. The Thing in the Cellar (1975) is the fifth episode of the first series, and revolves around Tom Good's construction of a poo-powered electricity generator in his cellar.

We hope you won't notice that it is not Die Hard 2: Die Harder, which features almost no electricity generated by faeces. We will do it next time though. We've even got a copy of the film now, which is a pretty good start I think you'll have to agree.

The Good Life (1975) Vs Sexboat (1980) by 5olly

Podcast 1: Grease (1978) Versus Sexboat

Versus Sexboat is a podcast which aims to fill a knowledge gap. Even with all the advantages of the modern world, there will come a time when you're trying to pick a film to watch but your choices have the exact same rating on IMDb.com. We all know that no two films are alike. This is the blindspot of the film review and rating system. Versus Sexboat is the podcast equivalent of those little extra car door mirrors that people who tow caravan stick on.

What we need is a control subject. We chose Sexboat (1980), the high seas comedy porn romp, rated on Sunday January 15th 2012 at IMDb.com as 7.0 out of 10. Every edition of the Versus Sexboat podcast, we will take another film rated 7.0 by the same site and pit its strengths and weaknesses against the established baseline of Sexboat to see which prevails. There'll be no winner stays on or any such gimmick: we're trying to be scientific here!

The first 7.0-rated film to run the Sexboat gauntlet was Grease (1978), the seminal  romantic comedy musical set in 1950s America where cars were beautiful, milkshakes were plentiful, quiffs were obligatory and the minimum age for High School graduation was seemingly 35. Grease is a film beloved of many people, but is it better than Sexboat? Join the Versus Sexboat crew 5olly, Betsy and Dotmund as they try and figure this out using their patented Five Characteristics of a Great Film criteria.

PLEASE NOTE: The Versus Sexboat podcast contains swearing and discussions of an adult, sexual and downright pig ignorant nature and is not intended for minors. Or even miners, probably.

Grease (1978) Vs. Sexboat (1980) by 5olly